A bet or a win? It's up to us!
Maybe not the most important topic in life, as people use to say, but certainly the most pleasant. If handled wisely, relations of any kind can provide us with happiness daily.
And the best thing? They depend on us in a large amount. Well, except for our family in which we are born.
They say relationships need a lot of work to succeed, but actually they just need the right chemistry - called compatibility. And too much effort for maintaining a relationship sure sounds like a job, not a life.
We can decide who our friends, our partners, even people we work with should be, as long as we find out if they are compatible with us.
By basing our decisions on qualities which will matter over time.
By choosing suitable persons to be in our life, not the perfect ones, but the ones who are right for us. The ones who have advantages we love and disadvantages we can live well with.
Good is not what is good, good is what it suits us.
Hard to find?
Not really, just difficult to recognize right away.
Maybe because we don't always bother to ask ourselves which are the qualities that bring the best part in us and which are the flaws that don't annoy us much.
Most of us have lived relationships, so we should be able to tell what made us happy and what not.
Once we have this sorted out, we should consider and wonder: is this person's contribution to my life a positive or negative balance?
And then it will eventually occur to us what to do about it.
We sure want to have a positive environment and happy relationships, so the path to follow is obvious, even if this means turning some people down or breaking up with existent friendships. If we don't want to see someone, we just say so, in a polite way. It is better to feel bad 5 minutes than 5 years.
Thing is not all people are aware of this, they don't really think they have the power to manage their relationships.
But we do, we just have to learn to choose the actions which will have long term benefits for us, not short term.
Inspite our feelings or habits, inspite our will to please others.
Where stronger feelings are involved this could be rather difficult, but what's the point, when the result is frustration. Because this is what happens when a romantic relationship is based only on attraction, not enough on suitability.
It is no coincidence that the most common cause for divorces is incompatibility of characters.
On the other hand where people are compatible, no matter what kind of relationship they have, it will last and last. Without working on it. Just because it comes naturally.
In the end what matters is our perception of our own life.
So it seems anyway like a good idea to be surrounded by people enhancing the positive side of life.
Anca Cristina Marini